Wedding planning is overwhelming, and when you have about 50-100 things being thrown your way on top of the opinions of parents and friends it can be hard to think straight and strategically plan a wedding you and your guests will enjoy.

It most likely doesn’t help either when you despise planning. 

We previously wrote a post on how to make wedding planning fun for the planner and anti-planner, so now here’s your guide to contributing when you want to do anything but contribute.

It’s completely understandable to be that person. You can’t be forced to like something or constantly fake a yes-honey-I-love-this-smile 24/7. But at the same time, it’s also not fair to place all of the stress on your other half. While we’re not saying to throw yourself headfirst into wedding planning abyss (please don’t do that) there are several small acts you can do. 

1. Find what you like–or something close
What may seem like the most boring, time-consuming task to your fiancé/fiancée, you might actually enjoy. Is number-crunching something you could do in your sleep? Maybe you can figure out the best financial options for you both. Are you addicted to fashion and styling? Picking the colors for the décor, dresses, and tuxes for your wedding party might be more bearable. Is planning really the worst thing on planet earth to you? Go on that coffee run and grab their favorite latte for them.

2. Give your opinion
You don’t need to make an executive decision on whether you should use royal blue or cerulean on the save the dates, but offering your opinion can help take the pressure down a notch, and make your partner feel like you put your two cents in. Last minute sleep-deprived decisions can also be deterred thanks to your opinion so don’t hold back.

3. Be the timer/referee
Having your entire lives revolve around the wedding is a surefire way to cause arguments and lose sight of any fun that this was supposed to be. Blow that whistle when it all gets to be way too much. Enforce coffee breaks, power naps, and walks outside. Provide an impromptu comedy show for some much needed laughs. You may not have any idea how soul-sucking Pinterest can be, but your partner probably does. Make the lightheartedness of your relationship cushion the bumps of planning. 

4. Help with tedious or everyday tasks
Sticking stamps on envelopes is something you’d do any day of the week. The difference is these are your wedding invitations or save the dates. You can also offer to pick up more chores around the house or run typical errands. Do the dishes, grab groceries. Anything that might chip away at the stress on both of your shoulders. These small jobs feel a lot more meaningful when you’re in the process of planning a wedding.

5. Remind him or her that you’re on their side
When you’re not heavily involved in the process it can feel a somewhat isolating for the other person. Simply sitting on the couch next to him or her while knee-deep in catering proposals or offering to give a neck massage after an overwhelming day are small gestures that will serve as a reminder that you’re in this together.