Wedding planning is exciting. It’s fun, and thrilling, and really like nothing you’ve ever experienced. We know this–we see it in movies, in magazines, on Instagram. But we know that stress might be a better synonym for wedding planning too. Sleepless nights, upset tummies, nitpicking, fights over small details (are we really fighting over which candle votive we want?).  As wedding planners, we see it all the time. We know that the process is far from perfect and we wanted to offer advice for destressing during an overwhelming time. Writing a one-size-fits-all guide is impossible; you and your fiancé undoubtedly handle stress in different ways. Your schedule and timing might be off or too packed, and with your money being funneled into a wedding an impromptu vacation isn’t really aligned in the stars. But there are a few things that you can fit around your relationship and personalities.  

The first piece of advice we can offer is finding something to do with just the two of you. Your best friends, parents, and coworkers aren’t invited–physically or electronically. Toss your phones in the glovebox of your car and spend a few hours focusing on just you two. In the Portland area, free yoga and fitness classes are offered in different spots all around the city. You can peruse delicious samples at Portland’s markets (and night market) or simply walk to the top of Council Crest with a picnic or bottle of champagne and revert back to your pre-engagement times. Don’t talk about the guest list or the food tasting, try to focus on being in the moment and maybe some inside jokes. When you take a break from the wedding it’s easier to remember the excitement that had you planning it in the first place.

Finding alone time is also essential in combatting stress. You might bottle up your feelings, whereas your fiancé may want to discuss their emotions for hours. You’re most likely spending a lot of time together planning and discussing the wedding, so breathing space can be key in staying levelheaded and keeping your cool. A solo massage or even enjoying a book and a cup of tea on the back porch alone allows you to refresh and gain some quiet in your mind. This list also has some great ideas for activities you can do individually.

Lastly, reach out for help. This can be incredibly hard to do sometimes, especially if you’re not one to ask for support in any given situation. But your friends, family, and planners have your back. Even speaking with a counselor can give you a way of spilling everything confidentially. Putting all the stress and burden on the two of your backs will only make you feel worse. Your friends would probably love offering advice on those candle votives, your mom or dad wouldn’t mind helping you narrow the guest list and your planners can give you advice and direction on anything from your floral design down to the processional order. We know that this process isn’t all diamonds and flowers, but there are ways to work past the stress and ensure that your wedding day is a positively unforgettable one.